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Spine Holds Spreading Wings - Charlotte Pettus |
La il laha il lallah - There is no god but god. Moving the energy and being at my center again feels profound. Getting there today felt so easy, effortless after so much thought of 'why am I here?' Tracing patterns between my body and my mind's eye. The ease of it today made me remember why I do this. I do not necessarily feel lighter, but definitely more grounded and centered.
Grounded is an interesting word for this work. I never feel 'grounded' when I do it, but it always makes me whole - or maybe just more whole. The classical Persian music drew me in as it always does. Leading me down the familiar hallway to the open door - and on the other side a vast expanse of Love and Space, openness and truth. I cannot lie to myself in this place. I cannot be anything I am not. I am home. Enveloped and suckled. Bathed and wrapped in a warm towel, held. Beautifully held as if I am the Child. The Only Child. We are all the Only Child and this is the warmth. In love there is no doubt, no fear, no question that this is the right thing, place, moment.
My spine feels alive like it has not in months. And the bruise along my lumbar thanked me for snagging one of the cushy mats today. I prayed to know where I had come from - not know - understand. And I prayed for guidance into my forward moving path. Then Dunya instructed us to internalize HADI.
This chant has never failed to bring me guidance and yet I often forget it in lieu of Sha Fi and La illaha. I kept thinking my hip was out of kilter and I felt that my shoulder was stretched to excess and now I see I must go back to the spine - energize and work from the center out; and consequently up and down.
Always the horizontal before the vertical. But it always seems like moving backwards. Maybe it's just 'going home'. Going back, but not backwards. Retrace the steps and pay attention to where I went too quickly before. Just a little more attention - always the importance of the details. Spreading wings won't happen without the spine to hold them.
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